what i've learned from watching curious george

I'm going to come right out and say that I let my daughter watch TV. Regularly. It saves my sanity on a daily basis. I have been known to put my foot down when it comes to certain shows though, like ones where the characters talk like babies, or if there are characters who bully, or shows that don't teach us anything by the time the end credits are rolling. And believe it or not, there are a lot of them out there.

One of Hallie's favorite shows is Curious George, which I love. The more I watch this show, the more mental notes I find myself taking. The parenting advice in that show is subtle and certainly unsolicited, but it is solid gold. I don't know how I feel comparing my three-year old daughter to a monkey (although most days she insists she is one), but there are noticeable similarities. I actually feel kind of foolish writing this, but here are a few lessons I've learned while observing interactions between The Man in the Yellow Hat and his lovable monkey, George.

1. Be Patient. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that just because Hallie understands a lot of things, that doesn't mean she understands everything. It takes time for her to get from one activity to the next, from the front door to her car seat, from downstairs to upstairs, because there is so much to take in and figure out. George is the same way. There is always something to distract him, but TMITYH (you got that, right?) always shows patience and understanding as he waits...and waits...and waits.

2. Don't Raise Your Voice. George gets into trouble. It's what he does. He's a monkey living in a man's world. Unfortunately, our children are young, innocent, curious kids living in a fast-paced, high-stress world as well. So whenever I feel the urge to yell at Hallie for getting into the same kind of mischief that any other kid would get into I ask myself, "How would TMITYH handle this?" Seriously. Call me crazy, but I've seen enough episodes to know he wouldn't freak out. He'd be gentle and calm and he'd talk it through, which leads me to...

3. Take Advantage of Teachable Moments. When George does something wrong, TMITYH makes sure to explain why it was wrong and what can be done to make it right. He takes the things that George doesn't yet understand and turns them into teachable moments so that George will understand them. Does that mean he will do it perfect the next time? No, but the seed has been planted. And that's the least I can do with Hallie. I want her to know things and think about things and comprehend them. It might take a few tries, but it's also surprising what information a three-year old brain can absorb the first time around.

4. Let Them Make Mistakes. Sometimes when I watch this show I think, "None of this would have happened if TMITYH just kept an eye on George. At all times. He's a monkey for crying out loud!" But that's not how we live our lives, is it? There are days when we just have to let our children go about their own little world, which oftentimes lead to them learning a lesson the hard way.  Spill your drink once or twice (or ten times) and hopefully you'll learn to be more attentive at the dinner table. (If my husband is reading this, he's sure to be laughing hysterically because, even at 28 years old, I still spill my drink at least once a week during dinner.) Nevertheless, the idea is the same. Let them fall, let them mess up, let them lose a game and it will teach them to be more brave, more careful, and more dedicated to make it right.

5. Anyone Can Be a Friend. I am always pleasantly surprised at how many friends George and TMITYH have wherever they go. Age, gender, ethnicity, or background don't matter: a friend is a friend is a friend. And within those friendships are endless opportunities to teach, learn, share, grow, and sometimes be downright silly. That kind of relationship is something I really want Hallie to experience in her life.

6. Explore the World Together. This one is my favorite. TMITYH and George split their time between the big city and the wide open country, but no matter where they are the find something new and exciting to do and learn. Always looking for a new adventure, George uses his curiosity and amazing monkey energy to go, go, go until he has explored a new part of his world and shared it with TMITYH, who is always, always excited to embrace it and experience those simple, joyful moments together.


So there you have it. Lessons learned from a monkey and a man who wears a whole lotta yellow. I guess this is what happens when you are a stay at home mom for this long...

quick tip / kid activity

If you're looking for some fun and easy outdoor time with your kids, try a nature color hunt. I got the idea from I Am Momma last year and have kept it in the back of my mind waiting for the perfect time to use it.

This took about five minutes to set up - the only materials you need are cardstock, markers, and tape. Write the colors and draw the rectangles, let your kids color them in accordingly, then set off on a backyard adventure searching for the colors in nature.

Hallie loved this activity and wanted to go again and again all morning long. She loves flowers and plants and was a pro at spotting the colors on our list.

patience + help

It's a well known fact that I have a crazy two-year old. Cra-zy. I admire her for her curiosity and energy but it sometimes brings me to my wit's end. My mind is exhausted from keeping both eyes on her at all times and my body is drained from chasing her from one end of her vast world to the other. (The other day I had a stranger suggest I look into getting a kid leash for her. Thanks...I think. Actually, aren't strangers supposed to be the judgemental ones when I have my kid on a leash?)

Because I'm imperfect and stubborn in my own right, I find myself praying for patience. Every night as I kneel to pray and give thanks for this beautiful and chaotic life I've been blessed with, I also ask, perhaps sometimes too desperately, for lots and lots of patience. I keep telling myself that as soon as the patience fairy comes and fills that void in my mind or heart or wherever it comes from, all will be well and motherhood will be easier.

Then it hit me. Why not ask for patience at the beginning of my day instead of at the end when I feel like I've failed and have nothing more to offer? The start of each day is when I need it most; the tolerance and peace and serenity and genuine joy in motherhood. And do you know what? It has made all the difference in the world. I can face each day with a smile knowing that I have help from the minute my feet hit the floor until the blissful moment when my head touches my pillow.

I think this applies to everything in life. It can be hard to ask for help in the first place, let alone before we even face the tough parts of our day or whatever challenges we face. But I can honestly say that it changes a person. It opens your eyes to the good things and allows you to enjoy and live in the moments that are meant for you. And what a blessing that is.


Participating in Project 52

joy in the sounds

I'm working hard on finding joy in every sound. Which also means I'm trying to have more, show more, and share more love at home.

Can I be the first to admit how stumped I am by the responsibilities and expectations I have as a parent? I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. It's an admission that is not easy for me to reveal, but I'd like to think I'm not alone. We're all learning as we go along, aren't we?

With every phase my daughter hits I'm beginning to realize that I, too, hit a phase. Usually my phase is something like Why doesn't she get it? or What am I doing wrong? or I give up! Luckily for me (and my daughter and everyone around us) my parental phases don't last as long as her growing-up phases. It helps when I take a step back and tell myself, "She's only been on this earth for two and a half years. Give her time and give her love." I think my personal motto is take a step back. It always makes a difference and works in every situation.

Right now we're dealing with the whiny phase. Therein lies the trouble with finding joy in every sound. But for every whine from her and every dramatic cry from me and every exhausted sigh from my husband, there are a million joyous sounds to be heard. Of course there's laughter and "I love you" and songs sung at bedtime each night. But there is also the kind voice on the other end of a phone call, the utensils clinking and clanking as we eat dinner as a family, the camera capturing a happy moment, the TV being turned off and toys coming out of their closet. My current favorite might be the sound of the dishwasher going and the washing machine going and the vacuum going, all signaling that my work is almost done, that I've been productive and now I get to spend time with my girl.

Yes, there is joy in every sound when there's love at home. But I'm learning that when there's love at home, you also have an easier time finding joy in the sounds.

rain, rain stay all day

We have been waiting and waiting and waiting for rain here in Texas.

Today many prayers were answered.

Of course we had to splash in it, jump in it, run in it and dance in it.

I pushed the couch underneath our front window so Hallie and I could watch the rain storm. We sang songs like Bushel and a Peck (Hallie loves the doodle oodle oodle part) and If You Have a Nickel. I so vividly remember doing the same thing with my mom when I was a little girl.

The rest of the day has been spent watching movies. The air mattress is set up in the living room with blankets and pillows everywhere. We have snuggled and snacked on pancakes and played airplane.

I love days like today.

laughter

I make an effort every day to stop and laugh with my daughter. I know -- it seems like a parent shouldn't have to make a point to laugh with their child. But sometimes I guess it's easy to forget or let the moment pass by. I didn't realize I was missing out on laughter until one evening when my husband came home from work and starting playing with Hallie. I heard them giggling and then belly-laughing from the other room and it stopped me in my tracks. I hadn't heard Hallie laugh like that all day. And maybe not even throughout the past few days. At least not with me.

Now I make time for laughter. I don't schedule it and I don't force it. It comes easily, now that I welcome it. And when laughter is lacking we are both quick to sense it. Some days I have to stop cleaning the house or forget about getting in and out of the grocery store as quickly as possible, just so we can laugh together. It's worth it. I want my daughter to remember the laughter. More than anything else, I want her to remember the moments of joy and happiness we share and that it happens often.

[Participating in Project 52: Glimpse Into Motherhood]

bedtime snack

Say hello to our picky eater.

She eats pancakes and olives and spaghetti and drinks about a gallon of chocolate milk a day. And that's pretty much it. The chocolate in her milk is actually Carnation Instant Breakfast mix. It's the best we can do.

We've started doing bedtime snacks to try to keep her belly full throughout the night. A well-rested two-year old means a well-rested mom and dad. So far we've found success with goldfish crackers and fruit loops. (Notice the uneaten sandwich.) I mean, as long as she's got her Oso bear with her, she's good. And he gets a few bites too.

What foods do your toddlers love?

 

(Have you read this blog? I love it. I'm pretty passionate about focusing on the good and uplifting parts of motherhood. This blog supports that mindset. And it's oh so fun to read.)

mommy thoughts

I can't believe I was ever scared of this stage of life. Afraid of the baby stage. Of the toddler stage. Of the mommy stage. It took a long time for me to decide I was ready for the title. And, of course, for everything that came along with it.

My, how life has changed.

My favorite everyday moments are when our little family of three is together and Hallie says something smart or new or completely silly and Clay and I exchange looks that say, "We love our life." I love the evenings spent tickling and wrestling and chasing a naked bum-bum all over the house. My favorite songs are the ones we sing twenty times a day. The Wheels On the Bus has never sounded so perfect.

I traded in the corporate world for kisses, and the simple life for snuggles. Scary? No. Not at all.

10 lessons

I posted this on our family blog, so my apologies to those who have already seen it. I wanted to make sure to share with readers of this blog as well. 

10 Lessons I've Learned During My Second Year of Motherhood

1.  A mess is not the end of the world. A spilled drink can be cleaned up, stains will fade, stuff is replaceable, books will eventually end up back on their shelves, and people who unexpectedly stop by your house usually know they are doing so at their own risk. A mess is just a mess.

2.  Toddlers have energy. Just go with it. No matter how often or persistently you try to get them to be quiet, settle down, hold still, or stay close; they’ll do what they want. And what they want usually has nothing to do with suppressing their natural energy and desire to get downright crazy. Let them be who they are and, when at all possible, let it all go and get crazy with them!

3.  There are fail-proof solutions to un-bore a bored toddler. A pile of neatly folded laundry, bubbles, a sandbox, anything valuable in your purse. Find them. Use them.

4.  Schedules get hectic. Responsibilities pile up. Priorities weigh down your day. But they only seem important in that moment. Don’t be afraid to let the busy life pass you by. Instead, hold your baby. Teach her something new. Snuggle. Forget about the pressures of the outside world and think instead of the joy you feel when you are simply “Mommy”.

5.  Anytime is bath time. There are no limits to how many baths a child can take in a day. If it makes them happy, fill up that tub!

6.  Explore the world with your baby. You’ll be amazed at what she can show you that you haven’t been willing to see through your own eyes.

7.  Relationships will be built throughout your child’s life. Start building strong relationships early. Let her think the world of her grandparents and spend as much time with them as possible. Help her make little toddler friends. Let her get to know every aunt and uncle and cousin she has. They will always be her family.

8.  You never stop setting an example. Baby see, baby do. Baby hear, baby say. Watch yourself. Don’t only try to not do things that you don’t want them to do, but make sure to do the good things as well. Say please and thank you. Be nice. Be loving. It will melt your heart when you see your child be that kind of copy-cat.

9.  Everything deserves praise. First steps, first song sung, first time sharing; of course you will praise them. But the other seemingly tiny accomplishments deserve cheer and commendation as well. Even if it is just stepping away from the toilet and handing the cell phone back to Daddy.

10.  There are days when you feel like a failure. When you know you haven't tried your best to be a good mom. And even when you have tried, you still haven't done much right. Those are the hardest days. But there is one person who doesn't know it. Your child has the most unique and unconditional kind of love for you. She doesn't know your weaknesses from your strengths. She doesn't know your bad days from good. She knows your face. She knows your touch. She knows your voice. She knows you are her mother. She forgives you for the moments when you just don't have time to hold her, for the times you lose your cool, and for the days when you can't seem to get out of your rut. At the end of the day, you are still her everything. In her eyes, the eyes that matter, you have done everything right.

Click here to read my 10 Lessons Learned During My First Year of Motherhood.

thankful for: motherhood

You knew it was coming, didn't you? It's November. It's the month of Thanksgiving.  Thus let the posts of gratitude and lists of blessings begin!

Today I'm especially grateful for being a mom. Motherhood isn't always easy, but it is always worth the difficult moments. For on the other side of those glimpses of insanity are slobbery kisses, big bear hugs, belly laughs, tickle wars, new words, dance parties, water fights, and that look in her eyes that tells me I'm her world. I'm thankful every single day for the blessing of motherhood and for the person it has helped  me become.

I remember my life before I was a mom, but I don't like to think about it too much or too often. The days were easier, the stresses were quick-fixes, running errands was simple, preparing a meal was peaceful and therapeutic. But looking back I see how empty our lives were. Yes, we needed those years to grow up, to ease into the idea of becoming parents. But it's amazing to see how complete and better life is with a baby, a toddler, a daughter to love completely and unconditionally. She is ours, she is the result of our love and commitment to each other, she is our everything. She is why I'm a mom and why I never want to be anything else.

Hallie + Mom

Palisades Lake, August 2010